Employee: Can I help you, sir?
Me: Can you?
Employee: Well?
Me: Uh...yeah, fine, do you know where the Hostess Twinkies are?
Employee: I'll give you a "Twinkie".
OK. What the fuck was that? Is that how you treat a customer? Are you hitting on me, you homo? Well, this brother don't swing that way. Shit, I didn't want to come out of that store empty-handed so I decided to purchase something. I bought a pack of Marlboro cigarettes, some gum, and Axe deodorant. Now, I thought I could just leave and it's all good. Fuck if I'll ever come back here again.
I met the manager. He rung me up. He looked like one of your stereotypical Al-Qaeda members, complete with a turban atop his head. I don't got a problem with that, no sir, but it wasn't until I found out what a douchebag this mofo was.
Manager: Your total comes to $8.50.
Me: (reaches into pocket pulling out my wallet) Ah here. (pulls out a clean brand-new twenty)
Manager: This is your change (hands me $1.50.)
Me: Hey! I gave you a twenty. I'm sure of it.
Manager: No, I know you gave me a $10 (pulls out a shitty looking $10). This was yours.
Me: Look man, I don't want to start shit, but I know I gave you a twenty. That was all I had.
Manager: Look, asshole, this is yours (shakes the $10).
Me: Look, Muhammad, I know for a goddamn fact I gave you $20. Now you trying to rip me off, Kumar. I don't think so. I will not be shortchanged by you, Saddam Hussein.
Manager: You need to leave.
This story ends with me getting shown the door by two employees and not getting my money back by this Allahu Akbar yelling character. Old Osama Bin Laden pulled a fast one on me. Fucking terrorist piece of monkey shit trash made off with an extra ten. They should be locked up in Guantanamo where they belong. Also, that asshole employee never showed me where the Twinkies were at. Has this bullshit ever happened to you before? Comment below!
Note: Dear reader who may be of the same religion/race as the asshole who jacked me. When I write that shit up on Aladdin there, please do not take offense, as I do not have a problem with you. Random offensive words usually occur in times of anger. Fuck him.
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No, you kind of seem like a douchebag.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of a "Twinkie" so maybe your more in touch with gay lingo than me, but then what is your problem? Even if he were gay and hitting on you, what the hell? So you're not gay: don't be an ass about it.
You have some balls waxing on about racism, when you accuse a CASHIER of terrorism. Maybe the guy was a dick, maybe he jipped you out of ten bucks, but that doesn't mean you can just start flinging every racial/religious epithet you can think of at him! You don't even know what religion he is, he was probably Sikh, not Muslim, anyway, and I highly doubt given your post that you can tell the difference between turbans. Even if he was muslim, that makes no difference. "Terrorists" does not equal muslim, the percentage of muslims who are terrorists is low, like the percentage of Irish people who are in the IRA, and the percentage of Christians who bomb abortion clinics. So essentially you think all muslims (or just people who piss you off?) should be held without trial for their religion in prison camps.
Yeah, those employess are just terrible people.
Yeah, I am a douchebag, no denying it.
ReplyDeleteHow am I being an ass when this ass automatically goes into conclusion that I am going to shoplift? I was not pissed that the employee was hitting on me. I was pissed that instead of helping me like a employee is supposed to, he offers to give ME a
twinkie? Where the fuck is the customer service in that? I wanted a sponge cake, not sponge cock.
The fuck is with the third paragraph? I don't need a Middle Eastern politics lecture course 101. It's like reading a fucking book. Yes they piss me off. I never called him a Muslim. Fuck you!
Quite.
Look, it is pretty clear you were very uncomfortable that this dude was hitting on you. It doesn't mean you can discriminate against him. Racial profiling is terrible, but notice that your insults lean towards calling him gay, rather than calling him racist, revealing your true concern. Your story makes no sense anyway. Why would someone hit on you if he thought you were a shoplifter?
ReplyDeleteYes, you did call him a muslim. Bin Laden and Hussein are infamous muslims. Muhammed is a prophet in the muslim religion. Aladdin is a folk tale set in medievel Arabian- in a period referred to as the "Islamic Renaissance." And what religion exactly, do you think someone who shouts "Allahu Ackbar" belongs to? The only time you called him anything but muslim, it was Kumar, which is traditionally a Hindu name. So who is this "they" who piss you off so much that you think they should be thrown into prison camps indefinately? People who steal 10 bucks?
I'm sorry if reviewing my comment is "like reading a fucking book," but you clearly need to read more books if you think explaining that sikhs and muslims both wear turbans is a lesson in Middle Eastern politics. This is not complex stuff.
Obviously the guy was not hitting on me, he was being an asshole, getting off subject by sarcastically offering me a dick. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI think terrorists should be held in prison camps as well as this piece of shit who looks like one. And because I used 5/6 Muslim references to insult him does not mean I called him Muslim.
It's okay I guess. The point of that was not calling myself an illiterate, but to tell your ass to get to the point instead of ranting on. And what books, pray tell, would I come across Sikhs and Muslims? Not too many.