Don't touch my shit fool. I'm talking about my fucking window and my fucking desk lamp. I don't appreciate it when you're up all in here. Back the fuck off. You got your side of the room to fucking tend to. I keep my window wide the fuck open because it's fucking hot up in this bitch. You got so much blubber fat, what are you cold or some shit? It's a fucking 80 degree sauna in here goddammit, and I can't take this shit no more. Ya dig? No, I guess fucking not. Sure the fucking laws of physics make it fucking Hurricane Katrina every time we open the fucking door all the way. Fucking air gets sucked through the fucking window, through the fucking room, through the fucking door, and into the fucking hallway. I just don't give a fuck. Leave my fucking window open, and keep the door the fuck closed.
From time to time, I fall asleep reading or whatever because chances are the shit I'm doing is boring as hell. If I do fall asleep, it's going to be a fucking nap. That means I'm going to wake up later, and when I wake up later, I want my fucking light on. So that doesn't give you the right to fucking "turn" off the florescent light on my desk. And by turn off, I mean you don't fucking actually switch the on/off button, you fucking unscrew the goddamn light bulb and try to melt the fucking cables on my desk when you put it down. Naw, I can't stand for this shit. Or going all the way to fucking unplug the goddamn thing. Hey, if you're reading this, first of all, fuck you. Second, the fucking switch is on the right end of the fucking lamp.
I'm getting a single next year. Fuck these uppity ass, hook ass, gay ass, punk ass, bitch ass, dumbass, stupid ass, fuck ass, shit ass roommates!
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