Jones Hewitt's First Best Shit Journal Article Ever!

Four, tres, two, uno
Listen up bitch/ 'Cause this is it/ The shit I'm talking about is hella sick

Alright, I'm just fucking with y'all fuckheads. I'm not too familiar with writing shit journals, but I decided to give it a shot so I kindly ask you to please shut the fuck up. For this, I spent a day munching on snacks and had a full breakfast and lunch. For you nosy cum-slurping bastards, this was what I had for today: a cheese bagel, a can of Pepsi, a mug of coffee, a Big Gulp, two packages of Top Ramen, a bag of Sweet and Sour Doritos, and a Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pocket. Yes, bitch, I was fucking hungry. I work out a lot so I deserve it you, you chafed dick-shit. When 6:42 generously arrived, I went to take my dump. I turned on the radio and who else would go on but the pussy-bitch nigga Soulja Boy. Not gonna lie, his song was effective when I was taking my dump. Fuck Soulja Boy, that pathetic shit-dick snatch.

When I was done taking my shit, I saw it was a simple textbook soil colored shit. Nothing out of the ordinary. I would give it 4-5 inches maybe. I tossed in toilet paper as if I was attending a funeral for the Navy. I did not flush it so I could note the smell of the shit. There was no scent until it kicked in at exactly 40 seconds and it was fucking rancid. I flushed that fucker out, turned on the fan, washed my hands (you wash your hands after taking a shit you degenerate sicko) and read my magazines.

This was the kind of shit that make you yawn and smack your lips for something. Fucking weird. That's all for today. Fuck you ass-prone faggots who want more from me. For you insolent useless pieces of fucking trash who don't like this, if you can't stand the shit, then get the fuck out of here, you retarded homosexual failure of a fuck. If you come here just to be a disfigured fuck, why don't you be a useful shit-for-sale, you prematurely-ejaculating piece of fucking dickshit. Aiight, I've had enough of you cock-carrying douchebags reading my shit for today. Get the fuck outta here. Fuck you, fuck you.