Volume 1: Corn Shit
Synopsis: I bought a bag of barbecue CornNuts, sucked the tasty seasoning off the corn, and swallowed them whole. I had to take a dump real bad and promptly squatted over a hole in the ground. The turd slid right out of my ass and was peppered with corn kernels as if the corn was still on the cob (corn on the crap).
Volume 2: Urinal Shit
Synopsis: Leaving your shit out is a classical prank. I took a dump in a urinal for the enjoyment of others. Big mistake. I almost suffocated to death in the process. There's a good reason why shit is submerged in water. Shit out of water is fatal.
Volume 3: Slide Shit
Synopsis: I learned about the physics of shit when I shat down a slide. An average turd is relatively hard and doesn't stick at all. The shit slipped down the spiral slide with no traces of feces. Maybe it was because I lubricated the slide with piss first. Some kid's going to get fucked over sliding into a pile of shit.
Volume 4: Burger King Utah Shit
Synopsis: A Triple Whopper (and 42 fluid ounces of Coca-Cola) condemned me to the Burger King restroom. I sat on the toilet for some time before I felt something coming down. I was also feeling a little gaseous, so I prepared to cough to cover up the possibility of a thumper. Boom goes the dynamite. The echo in the restroom made it seem a lot worse. I heard people running for the exit.
Volume 5: Bus Shit
Synopsis: Big B! For once a story not about me doing the shitting. Big Beaner the Mexican took a shit in the back of the tour bus restroom. You know you don't shit in bus restrooms because there's virtually no ventilation. All the gooks (Asians don't like Mexicans as well as blacks) on the tour were riled up because the stank almost killed us.
Volume 6: Park Shit
Synopsis: I took a shit on the floor of a public restroom in a park because the one stall was fucking nasty inside. I slapped on some latex gloves, grabbed my shit, and threw it on the wall. Then I smeared it all over. Never shitting there again.
Volume 7: Sidewalk Shit
Synopsis: I shat on the sidewalk before Jones (Being black, he was late.) was going to pick me up. There was no restroom in the vicinity, and no bushes. For good measure, I found a teddy bear on someone's lawn and shoved it face first into the steaming pile of shit. For good measure, I also took a leak on it.
Volume 8: Creek Shit
Synopsis: I had some deteriorating shit in a creek. I took a stick and poked it. The turd instantly crumbled. Later I forgot about the ordeal and drank from a water fountain that came from that creek. Fuck me.
Volume 9: Sink Shit
Synopsis: I hated my high school, so what better way to leave a lasting impression than by shitting in a sink. Using a urinal divider for stability, I hoisted myself on top of the sink and squatted. I promptly ripped a grumpy. After lunch, some bitch came crying into the classroom straight from the restroom. The whole class got up to investigate and so did the teacher. Truth be told they were not pleased.
Volume 10: Dorm Shit
Synopsis: I dropped a bomb in my floor's bathroom. After I wiped and didn't flush, I opened the stall door. Because the bathroom only had one toilet, my fellow floormate had no choice but to go in. He entered, backed out, and grimaced. Turning to me he said, "Dude, that's fucking disgusting," and went back in.
When I conclude this mini-series, there will be a poll to vote on your favorite Shit Story!
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