Taking a piss

Today I was taking a leak in a public bathroom, as groty as it sounds. Main idea: urinate and get the fuck out of there. It was dirtier than a shack in Africa, and believe me, I've seen how dirty they can get (never actually been there). As I unraveled my zipper, a douchebag walks in and takes the urinal right next to me. It's a big bathroom...what the fuck are you doing? There's no reason for you to be next to me. Thoughts raced in my head: Dick cheese, do you fucking mind? Can you fucking not? There's a bunch of free stalls you asswipe. Ever thought of how others feel about personal space, you cocklick? It's not o-fucking-kay to take a stall next to another guy when there are available urinals. That's the golden rule. Know it. Respect it. Do it. You wanna go take a piss next to another dude? They have places for that. Prisons.

Then this worthless piece of trash tries to strike a conversation while I'm trying to fucking take a piss. Now when a person is in the bathroom, that is like an unspoken "do not fucking disturb" sign being posted. Strangers do not piss and talk next to each other. Hell, friends don't even talk and piss next to each other. This guy has clearly got issues. The more this faggot tried finding common ground, the more I wanted to punch his face in. I finished up and left the bathroom and he yelled for me to "wash my hands". Fuck you. I don't need to wash my hands after taking a piss. First off, the bathroom door was open. Number two, the dick skin and the skin on your hands are the same skin. When you go camping and take a piss in the woods, do you wash your hands? Nah, nah, nigga, you don't. If it was taking a shit and washing your hands, I would understand. That makes sense. That fly with me. But washing your hands after taking a piss? Nah, nah.

Maybe next time, I should go take a piss before I leave my apartment. Maybe next time, I would take a toilet stall instead of a urinal, so no ass tyrants would find a place next to me. Maybe next time, I can just change urinals while I'm pissing to get away from some chatterbox queer. Maybe next time, I'll fucking pull a nonhomosexual R-Kelly and give the next asshole a golden shower. Who knows, maybe next time, I'll quickly finish up, kick you in your testicles as hard as I can, laugh at you and call you a queer. Story concludes with me telling that chickenshit jizz fetcher to go eat a dick. People these days are fucking weird. Just a quick question: How many of you assclowns actually take the urinal directly next to another shitstained fuckhead? Unless you collect sperm with your ass, the correct answer is NO.