Never ever drink yellow Gatorade

I was walking down towards the park, a basketball under my arm when I saw a bottle of Lemon-Lime Gatorade in a crate by the soda machines. I helped myself to it. I wasn't thirsty, so I thought to myself how fucking funny it would be if I took a piss in it and maybe...just maybe, some ignorant retarded fuck would drink out of it. It would be fucking awesome! I opened it...it was sealed. This was a fresh Gatorade! I waterfalled some of it so it wouldn't be full. And then I did the deed. I pissed through a funnel I happened to find on the side of the park so every drop slipped directly into the bottle. No mess and no fuss. Feeling sly, I crept back and sealed the bottle shut. My experiment began!

First I hid the bottle so it would have time for the foam to die down and for the bottle to not be so warm (common sense you piece of shit fuck). Afterwards, bottle in hand, I made it to the basketball courts. I placed the bottle on the bleachers and shot my hoops for a good 45 minutes. I'm the fucking man. I checked my experiment. The foam was not very visible and the bottle was no longer body temperature, but a mild lukewarm. I left the courts, and I saw some weird kids enter. I stopped and pretended to tie my shoelaces when I see from the corner of my eye one of the kids eyeball the Gatorade. What a fucking moron! I knew I had to witness this.

The kid opened the bottle with haste and waterfalled it. He winced when instead of lemon-lime, he got urine flavored taste in his mouth! He swallowed, wiped his face, and spat on the ground. His friends passed the bottle around wondering what the fuck was with his expression. I looked with great pleasure as each and every one of them made an "oh my fucking God I think I'm feeling sick" expression. What fucking retards! I don't care if they autistic or on drugs or some shit. These motherfuckers were just plain dumb, for fucks sake! I held in my laughter as I walked away. Out of earshot, I fucking haven't fucking laughed that fucking hard in a fucking long time. Ah, kids these days. I'm surprised a generation would soon be overrun by assclowns who drink shit they find on the ground. What if there was fucking GHB in there? The worthless pieces of shit would've been out cold. I can't emphasize how retarded people are nowadays.

Moral? Don't fucking drink shit you find on the ground, you fucking ass-whoring dick gleamer. Otherwise shit will happen to your dumbass and you'll deserve it. It's not fucking rocket science, comprende? Nothing more to say, back to your cock duty, you fucking livestock boner.