My Roommate

My college roommate is trash. He looks like a gorilla, but alas, he's not black. He's hairy, big, fat, and therefore ugly. He fucking smells too. Like fat people sweat. He's not morbidly obese, but he's still fat. Stop bringing fast food back to the room. No wonder he's a fatty. It's worse than having an Indian roommate. Instead of smelling curry all the time, I smell greasy, fried shit. Because he wears jeans with no belt, I can see his hairy big ass crack. Repulsive. Also pull your towel up higher when you go take a shower. Moobies and a potbelly. I don't want to see that shit. Speaking of showers, what's up with hour showers? I think it's his first time masturbating. And hour long shits too. Does he jerk before he shits too? No one takes one hour to shit. Not even me. If he wants to use the refrigerator, he should remember what he fucking put in there. No, that fucking pasta isn't mine. By the time it grew mold after a week, I didn't want to fucking touch it. 2 months later, it was not only growing trees but cotton. Fucking slob. His side of the room looks like Baghdad. Fucking geeks. Not a day goes by he is not on the computer. That's all he does. Puts on his headset to play games, and it's like he's not even there. Sleep and game. No social life whatsoever. Don't touch my fucking window. He has his own window to regulate the temperature. Being a fat ass, it's not like he's cold. The damn room is too hot, and with no air condition, that's why I need to keep my fucking window wide open. So fuck off. I go outside the room to talk on the phone as not to bother him. He on the other hand talks about dumb shit all the time, which annoys the hell out of me. Always saying "I can't hear you" even though the fucking phone is blaring the sound. Is he fucking deaf? He says that multiple times every single phone conversation. I saw a sign language card for the deaf on his desk once. I think that confirms it. I think that's all I got. Fuck me senseless. I'm done bitching.